I know this title could be a lot of different things to different people. Today i want to talk about what it means to me and why i feel like sharing it on my blog.
For this particular post i'm referring to when is it the right time to let go of someone, whether that's to break away and not be as close anymore or to have a completely fresh start if that's
either a friend or a relationship. As we get older, we meet a lot of new people, we make new friends and form new relationships and yes we may still have our old friends or partners but what happens when that becomes too much? When it becomes a negative thing.
For me I've never been close to people because i know how quickly friends can leave and how sometimes relationships won't last. That's okay, it's a fact of life. So when it comes to letting people go i've found it both easy but also one of the hardest things to do in my life.
One particular situation that happened recently was with my best friend. One thing i should note is I've been close to her for around 7 years and throughout this time i have been a lot of her support, she's relied on me a lot. Anyway, as much as i have tremendous love for her she often was in a very negative head-space. So negative that it began to affect me, i found that after we'd hang out i'd be exhausted and emotionally i was done for the rest of the day. We stopped doing the fun things we'd typically do and instead we sat around and would talk - now don't get me wrong i love having a good old catch up - but eventually it became the same conversation, about the same things and i found i was repeating myself a lot when i didn't need to. I also found that it was harder for me to be motivated to want to see her and when i didn't i wasn't that bothered and when she'd message i'd limit the conversation to the minimal.
Now i know that may seem harsh but you have to remember that i'm her friend and to have all my own worries and then take all that on top of me, it wasn't fair. I remember one day coming home after meeting my friend and sitting talking to my family. I found that as i spoke i got angry, i was frustrated and i found that it was all too much. It was like i was finally letting it all get to me and i couldn't deal with it. After speaking to my family i knew i needed to start letting go, i knew i could no longer be the support that she needed from professionals and it didn't bother me that much. I also knew that if this continued we'd ruin our friendship.
The hardest part was speaking to her about it, i decided the kindest and fairest thing for me to do was be very honest and very direct with her. Although she found it difficult i explained that as a friend there was only so much i could do and some of the things that were going on were out of my control and i couldn't help.
Since this point there have still been times when her worries have been passed onto me but i've been very adamant and stayed away from anything that could potentially begin to affect me again. It is difficult to push away from someone and to sometimes let go and not be as close to someone as you were. But you have to think of the benefits of doing this and how it will help each of you. If you let yourself become down and a negative person because of someone else then it isn't just their fault, it's also yours. People do change and that's just how things are. Letting go is hard but holding on to something that no longer works is even harder.